Doris Ogala: Deserved pain of the pastor’s paramour, by Bamidele Johnson
It takes a special kind of illness, the sort that ought to qualify one for the devoted attention of senior psychiatrists, not to leap up and dance with reckless joy after watching the viral video of that woman bawling her eyes out over having been shagged for eight years by a pastor answering to the name Chris Okafor. Doris Ogala, she calls herself.
Doris is not merely angry or heartbroken because she gave her body generously and at wholesale rates. She is irate because she and the pastor, in a moment of mutual stupidity, recorded some of their bedroom sessions and those recordings escaped into the wild. Third parties got them. Then fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh. The internet never forgets.
Worse still, the “holy man” had convinced her to dump the husband of her youth, only to turn around and announce plans to marry another woman, one apparently daft enough to consider a sleaze bag as husband material.
Doris cannot cope. No woman in her position would feel otherwise, unless she were operating on next level dimness. To be persuaded to leave your marriage and become the regular receptacle of the phallus of a man supposedly of God that explicitly forbids sex outside marriage, requires an almost athletic commitment to idiocy.
Okafor, Doris wailed, can and will not marry the new woman because she cannot find anyone else. Therefore, if Doris cannot have him, nobody will. This is false logic arising from wounded pride. Doris may not have age on her side, but she is hardly washed out. Anyone with functional X-ray vision would see what lies beneath. While she is unlikely to attract a Ned Nwoko type, who is spiritually devoted to virginal teenagers, there remains a healthy market of men with a fondness for ex-service girls.
She says she is suicidal. That is bad, mad and sad. Genuinely. Some have suggested she was under a hex cast by Okafor. I do not buy it. Not for a second. She simply sold herself on the cheap. She “lose guard” as they say on the streets. She ignored the eternal maxim, “always guiding”.
Still, it is not over until it is over. There is the famous Okafor’s law and the man, being an Okafor, may yet return to base if she is willing, ready and able. Should she decline, there are men with a taste for the mildly gerontocratic, provided she agrees to their terms and conditions.
To have believed that a man who shagged her while posing as anointed was trustworthy is frighteningly moronic. It is the moral equivalent of handing your BVN to Hushpuppi and expecting your money would be safe.
