Early marriage and childbearing: A Cultural and medical reflection, by Kayode Adebiyi

Looking at this photo, as posted by my dear friend and sister, Lara Wise , yesterday, I have been reflecting on some things that folks might not even think about.

First, the age difference between the great-great-grandmother and the great-grandmother is 23 years, which suggests that the great-great-grandmother was probably married around age 21 or 22. There is even a possibility that the great-grandmother is not the first child of the 95-year-old great-great-grandmother.

The age difference between the great-grandmother and grandmother is 17 years, which suggests that the great-grandmother married at around age 15, 16, or even 17. The likelihood of having a child out of wedlock was not common in the past; rather, polygamy was encouraged.

Now, let’s take a closer look. The age difference between the grandmother and the mother is 25 years, meaning the grandmother likely married around age 23, 24, or even 25. Furthermore, the age difference between the mother and the young daughter is 22 years, indicating that the mother married at around age 20, 21, or even 22.

Something evident here is that all five generations are alive today to see and know each other. This is, first and foremost, by the immeasurable grace of God, which cannot be overlooked. But most significantly, it is because these generations of women married early or chose to have children early enough.

There is something significant about African culture as it relates to marriage and childbearing—women start early and finish childbearing early to focus on their life and other pursuits. I believe this has great advantages. I also want to emphasize that marrying and having children in the late teens to early twenties is not unique to African society; it is a practice across many cultures.

In fact, biblical historians recorded that during the time of Christ in the 1st century, the ideal age for women to marry was late adolescence. We can probably assume that when the virgin Mary married, she was between 14 and 19 years old. According to rabbinic texts, parents were encouraged to engage their daughters around age 12, around the time of puberty, and marry them a year later.

Now, with modernity comes all kinds of contradictions regarding the age a girl is deemed fit for both marriage and childbearing. Presently, in most societies, it is criminal to have carnal knowledge of a teenager, let alone entertain the idea of marrying her.

Meanwhile, medical science supports the notion that women should start having children early, not later. Medically, the best age for women to marry and start childbearing varies, as there are several factors that influence fertility, overall health, and personal circumstances. It is agreed that women are generally most fertile in their 20s, which is when the quality and quantity of eggs are optimal, increasing the likelihood of successful conception.

Fertility begins to decline gradually in the late 20s to early 30s, with a more noticeable decline after age 35. Medical science also agrees that the risks associated with pregnancy are lower in women in their 20s. For example, the risk of complications like gestational diabetes, hypertension, or chromosomal abnormalities (such as Down syndrome) increases with maternal age, particularly after age 35.

I remember many years ago, my late maternal grandmother telling me the story of how she married my grandfather. While I was asking her those questions just for fun, she said something that got me thinking. She told me that it was her father who chose her husband for her, and she had no say in it. She further mentioned that she was sent to her husband’s home after her dowry was paid when she was about 16 or 17 years old.

I know many people might say that modernity has changed the tradition of “early marriage.” But can we even continue to call it “early marriage” when both medicine and different cultures across the world agree that the ideal age for women to start childbearing is between the late teens and early 20s?

Some might argue that modernity, with its long years of schooling and career building, has made it impossible for women to marry “early.” But is that really the case? Even by the standards of Western education, a girl should be finished with school by age 22 or 23 at the latest.

Finally, when and how did the West come to criminalize teenage marriage when most cultures around the world used to accept giving women into marriage in their late teens as a universally accepted norm?