Erelu Olabisi-Adeleye Fayemi: A woman of many lessons, By Eniola Ajayi

I had a conversation with a colleague recently about the upcoming 60th birthday of my mentor and I said I have to make every effort to be there. He then asked me, how old are you that you are calling someone who is going to be 60 your mentor? I calmly replied that mentorship has nothing to do with age. I said, mentorship is about someone who has something you can learn from and who has made an impact within their own area of influence.

Erelu taught me how to be an effective politician effortlessly. She reinforced for me that politics is first about people, people and people. What do the people like?, what do the people want? and when do the people want it? You do not dictate how the people want to be loved. You must seek to understand their love language.

Erelu taught me effective mobilisation. You must give people a cause they can believe in and a purpose that they can align with. She taught me about inclusion and carrying people along while clearly defining the vision.

Erelu taught me the power of effective communication. She reinforced for me the importance of using the right words and the import of using the appropriate language under varying circumstances.

Erelu showed me the real meaning of respect as taught in Yoruba culture. She demonstrates this by how she honours her husband and elders generally. You will be shocked at how quick her knees are to the ground, whether in public or private. She is a real Omoluabi.

Erelu is very caring. She is thoughtful and dependable. The most impressive part is the love she shows to our loved ones especially when we are not there. I call to remembrance the way she has remained consistent in her care for the family of our late Deputy Governor, Mrs Funmilayo Adunni Olayinka and my own Mother amongst others. She is a friend for all seasons.

Erelu is a friend to have in your corner through thick and thin. I recall the way she sat with me in the hospital on the most horrible day of my life before my late daughter was finally taken to the mortuary. She was there as a friend who sticks closer than a brother. She taught me again that action speaks louder than words.

Erelu taught me some decorums that mark a lady. From how to drink my soup to how to cross my legs at the ankles rather than at the knees.

Erelu taught me how to own my space as a Leading Woman. She doesn’t want me feeling or thinking less of my self in my position simply because I am a woman. She reinforced that I don’t have to apologise for where God placed me today. I should just serve with confidence.

Erelu taught me more about humility. She is down to earth and reachable by those who have the ethos of Omoluabi as well. She can interact with the Maid or Mayor. She is so versatile in knowledge.

Erelu taught me to keep on reading but I am still learning to master her love for writing. She writes consistently despite her punishing schedule. I don’t know how she does it.

Erelu taught me that it is possible to multitask. In the recent past, She combined so many roles of being a wife, Mother, First Lady of Ekiti State, Chairperson of First Ladies of Nigeria Governors Forum, Member of the Governing Council at Elizade University, Chairperson of various boards and membership of International Organizations just to name a few.

Erelu demonstrated that being a feminist does not imply disrespect for your spouse or disdain for the male gender. It just means striving for equal opportunity and recognition for women. We are not less than who they are. We are all that too.

Erelu taught me how to fight like a man but win like a woman. I try not to give excuses that I can’t but I find ways how I can. Erelu is a walking masterclass on how to be a leading lady within your own sphere of influence without losing your charm.

I could go on and on but let me stop here. Happy birthday to my mentor, friend and Sister, Erelu Olabisi Adeleye-Fayemi @ 60. May your tribe increase!

-Dr. Ajayi is Ambassador of the Federal Republic of Nigeria to the Kingdom of the Netherlands and Permanent Representative to OPCW, ICC, ICJ, PCA and CFC.