I never planned for polygamy — Hadiza El-Rufai

Hadiza Isma El-Rufai, wife of former Kaduna State governor Nasir El-Rufai, has revealed that she did not anticipate becoming part of a polygamous household when she got married, despite her husband’s background.

Mrs El-Rufai shared the account on Sunday via her X handle while responding to an online discussion on polygamy. She explained that she was raised in a monogamous family and entered marriage with the expectation of a similar arrangement, noting that the issue of polygamy was never discussed before the wedding.

“When we agreed to get married, I envisaged a monogamous marriage, even though the subject was never discussed,” she said.

According to her, the marriage later evolved into a polygamous union after her husband married additional wives, Asia Ahmad El-Rufai and Aisha Ummi Garba El-Rufai. She described the transition as one that was initially not her choice.

Mrs El-Rufai said she nonetheless decided to remain in the marriage, stressing that staying was a personal decision. She noted that under Islamic law, which governed their marriage, a woman has the right to seek a divorce through khulʿ by returning her dowry, should she choose to leave.

She added that she opted to focus on the positive aspects of her situation, adopting a pragmatic outlook on life. In her view, polygamy can offer some benefits to first wives, including more time for careers, personal interests and children, as well as a sharing of family responsibilities such as dealing with in-laws.

Mrs El-Rufai also remarked that for couples of similar age, polygamy may reduce certain expectations placed on wives as they grow older.

However, she argued that men gain little from polygamy beyond sexual considerations, which she described as the primary motivation in many cases. “Apart from that singular thing, I cannot think of any advantage of polygamy for a man,” she added.