Pastor Okonkwo says many men lack, qualities to lead in marriage

By Folashade Olorunfemi –

Renowned pastor and marriage counselor, Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo, has raised concerns about the state of modern men in marriage, stating that many lack the qualities needed to be effective leaders in their relationships.

Taking to his Twitter page, he argued that beyond financial support, most men are deficient in the spiritual, emotional, mental, and moral capacity required to truly guide a woman.

“If you remove money, most men don’t have what it takes to lead a woman. That’s why many cling to the idea that a man’s main role is ‘providing,'” he said. “Outside of money, most men don’t have the spiritual, emotional, mental, or moral capacity to lead a woman in today’s world—and even the money, most men don’t have that either.”

He further criticised what he called the archaic mindset of many contemporary men, noting that it only worked in a time when women had limited access to education. Today, he said, being a husband requires more than simply providing financially.

“A lot of men today are carrying an outdated syllabus and archaic mindset that was developed when women weren’t educated or didn’t work. Being the head today is no longer about paying rent and school fees; you must be a quality man,” Pastor Okonkwo added.

Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo is the Founder and Lead Pastor of David’s Christian Centre, Lagos (DCC), and a Certified Relationship Coach at Love, Dating and Marriage Ministry, widely known as LDMwithPK. The ministry is committed to equipping couples worldwide with Godly principles. He also hosts Couples Hangout, a quarterly event for married couples that culminates in the annual Together Forever Marriage Conference.

The pastor, who is a relative of popular Afro-pop musician Damini Ogulu, popularly known as Burna Boy, has sparked public debate with his remarks.

An anonymous social media user reacted, saying, “May God punish these useless men of God who always pander to women. The biblical assignment of a man is to provide for and protect his woman/family. How can you protect and provide, and they say you are not a quality man??? The endless sacrifices of men mean nothing to these men of God. Do you think it is easy to lead modern women? When you say A, she says B—but we keep managing them like that. In fact, ehn?? With all these nonsense talks about men going on, we are done!!! Let women marry themselves.”