The chimera called Nigeria, by Wale Bakare

My first encounter with the word ‘Chimera’ was a few decades ago in one of the thriller novels of the writer, Robert Ludlum, that I used to love reading back then. It was a description that perfectly suited the antagonist who was in part the epitome of societal sophistication, charm, and class while being in equal part a devious, cold, embodiment of evil. Each part of his genetic makeup laid claim to as much legitimacy to exist as the other. This is a different condition from schizophrenia which is a mental health disorder. More recently, I saw a video of a false negative result circulating online which was caused by a rare condition called chimerism. A family had required a DNA test to be carried out for a reason and the results came out as negative. The child did not carry the DNA of the father. This came as a shock as the man had never had a reason to doubt the paternity of his child. The tests were repeated in two other test facilities and the results came back negative: the child did not carry the DNA of the man.

There is no telling what the consequences of this momentous find would have been on the family, and especially on the woman, if fate had not chosen that moment to intervene. One of the doctors believed there might be more to the situation than the test results showed. In a twist that affirms a maxim I have always held true, ‘it is a fact does not mean it is the truth’, the doctor decided to run tests on the father. He was able to establish that the man actually carried two sets of DNA resulting from a natural phenomenon that had occurred long before he could ever have been aware of it: while he was an embryo. There had in fact been two of them in the womb and he had survived, absorbing the cells of his unformed brother into his body and thus ending up with 2 sets of DNA. In the process of making the child, he had passed on the less dominant DNA while the sample taken for the tests that came back negative were the more dominant (and different) genes. No be juju, na science! So yes, while it is a fact that the child does not carry the same DNA as the man, the truth is that he is the father of the child.

While chimeras are usually a naturally occurring phenomenon, chimeras could also be man-made. They could result as an outcome of some medical procedures like IVF or bone marrow transplants for example. While these procedures are life-saving or life-giving, they could also produce chimers who have to live with these unintended consequences forever. Usually, there would be no problem unless something goes wrong that exposes the chimerism. Today, again, I came upon something that exposed the chimerism that is Project Nigeria. In the video I saw, a Committee of the Senate, as part of its oversight functions, was laying into some gentlemen that had come before the Senate Committee to defend their budget. The men were from the National Board for Arabic and Islamic Studies, which has a vision “to be at the frontline in realizing the ambition of the Federal Government of Nigeria in its programme for the full integration of western and Islamic Education, the promotion of Qur’anic schools and the Madrasah system of education in the country” according to its website which was last updated in 2020.
Firstly, I never knew it was the ambition of the Federal Government of Nigeria to integrate western and Islamic education in Nigeria or to promote Qu’ranic schools. In an age where STEM should be at the epicenter of our educational philosophy, it came to me as a bit of a shock to learn that we had a Board dedicated to the promotion of Islamic schools that was being funded by Nigerians. I would be equally amazed to learn that the government was using my tax to fund Bible schools in Nigeria or that a board was set up and funds were being appropriated for the integration of western and Biblical or Ifa education in a country that is supposed to be a secular nation according to our constitution. Chapter One, Article ten affirms that there will be no State religion adopted in Nigeria as a country or in any part thereof. This clear constitutional provision is being breached in several parts of the country already and while the government at the center has been powerless to stop these chimeric symptoms from emerging, especially where they are being funded by the constituent States, it is another thing altogether when it is being funded from the common purse and used as a conduit for unmitigated corruption and theft of public funds.

The Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board (JAMB) conducts exams into over 200 tertiary institutions including public and private Universities, Polytechnics and Colleges of Education every year. Last year, over 1,900,000 students sat the JAMB exams. JAMB covers the entire federation and has less than 2500 staff. In the same time frame, NBIAS with a staff strength of over 5960 conducted ONE examination for 1100 students. JAMB, with less than half of the staff strength of NBIAS remitted N6 billion to the Federation account while NBIAS remitted N30 million. Meanwhile it spent over 380 million to conduct this exam for its 1100 students (I am assuming all the 1100 delegates indicated on its website sat for the exam at once). The Board generated N480 million in addition to its budgetary allocation running into several billions. Senator Yayi, in exasperation remarked that they had probably brought another request running into “ten or twenty billion”. On another note, I will be quite keen to see the data on another nebulous national ethic and how far this shadowy Board has adhered to it: national character.

In most other environments, the affront to the constitution, the blatant and unmitigated corruption, and the sheer audacity and impunity that characterizes the existence and running of this Board would probably be a thing of concern but not in the man-made chimera called Nigeria. The various component genes of the structure are almost constantly at war with each other making for difficulty in agreeing to a standardized definition of right or wrong, what is acceptable and what is not. While on the surface, closely scrutinizing the way the NBIAS (which is just one of the many of its type) is being run should be a no-brainer, in reality, any attempt to right the obvious wrongs would most likely lead to a polarization of views and positions along religious, ethnic, and political divides. We would quickly get a version of the ‘he is our thief, leave him alone’. It wont be the first time that solutions to serious issues affecting the man-made chimera called Nigeria have been stunted by its inability to define its true DNA.