The scourge of the scavengers! By Wale Bakare

Brigadier-General Audu lounged in the back seat of his official staff car, a Peugeot 607, and contemplated the future with a smile on his face. He looked forward to returning to his village in Benue and being able to give full attention to his farm. He had anticipated this day without fear. He had always been a simple and highly disciplined officer. He never lived beyond his means and the men under his command were always his first priority. He never sent them where he wouldnt go himself and his exploits in the North East of the country where he had led the onslaught against Boko Haram was the stuff of which legends were made. He loved ‘the job’ and he loved his country. He would have been ready to die in the service of both. Nevertheless, all good things must come to an end and after a meritorious career, retirement called. He ended the call to his dear wife and looked forward to his first dinner in 30 years as a ‘bloody civilian’.

Paul, the young Private at the wheel of the car was also deep in thought, though his senses were tuned in to the task at hand: getting his beloved boss home safely. He wondered who he would be assigned to next. The road was wide, smooth and almost devoid of any other vehicle under the darkening sky except for the one about 30 meters ahead of him. As his thoughts returned to his immediate future, the car in front suddenly swerved to avoid an open manhole almost smack in the middle of the road. Paul saw it a fraction too late and though he swerved as well, one of the rear tires hit a piece of metal protruding from the edge of the hole. There was a loud bang as the tire was ripped apart. Paul slammed on the brakes and the car flipped over several times. It came to rest on its side and Paul, fully conscious, was grateful for his boss’s unwavering insistence on the use of his seat belt. He even used his own belt when seating in the back. Paul freed himself and looked into the back seat. The first thing he noticed was that the Colonel didn’t have his seat belt on. This was a first, he thought. ‘Sir! Sir!’ he called out, but there was no response. He could see that the Colonel’s head was bent sideways at an unnatural angle. Other motorists stopped to assist and they brought the silent, immobile body of Brigadier-General Audu out of the car. A doctor at the scene declared he was still alive but they needed to get him to the hospital immediately. He would later be confirmed paralysed from the neck down and would spend the rest of his life as a paraplegic. The President would subsequently “condole with the Chief of Defence Staff, the Chief of Army Staff and all well-meaning Nigerians on this tragic incident”.

Just at about the same time that Colonel Audu’s car was hitting the exposed manhole, Musa, Chike, and Aremu were just ordering for the first round of drinks at the beer joint in Lugbe where they usually hung out whenever they had some spare money. And indeed they had some money on them. They had just received the payment for the last batch of manhole covers they took off the road (one of which Paul had run into) and had sold to the Chinese man that usually sent his Nigerian supervisor to collect the goods. They had met him only once but he had assured them he would always be ready to pick whatever they could find, so long as it was metal. So they worked all night every day, ripping up manhole and drainage covers, tearing up rail tracks, stripping street light poles and even a complete traffic light during the #endbadgovernance protest. Once, they had stolen the gate of a family home where the occupants had travelled to the village on holidays.

While the above scenario and the characters depicted are fictional, they represent the reality of what is going on in Nigeria and the accident described above is a dangerous possibility that could arise from the activities of these unscrupulous people and which could happen to anyone. The media has been awash with news about the activities of these vandals recently. A concerned Nigerian made a video of what they had done on a major road in Abuja, the nation’s capital. Nigeria is a funny place where the citizens are always quick to come to the defense of all sorts of criminals, excusing thievery and brigandage as consequences of poverty. At least until they also fall victim to these ‘poverty-enabled criminals’. If we agree, without conceding, that the wheelbarrow-pushing ‘bola’ boys are poverty stricken, what do we say about the man caught on video who parked a Spacebus and was loading it with stolen manhole covers? Was he too driven by poverty? We need to get a little bit more serious as a people. What is bad is bad and consequences must be applicable for errant behavior. We do not like consequences and are too quick to excuse deviant behaviour. Could it be because we are actually capable of the same behavior? Could our reticence in condemning criminality (except when it comes to the political leadership) be because deep down we don’t want to be hypocrites?

The government needs to be tougher on those who tamper with public infrastructure (this does not include the public purse. That is another conversation and we don’t want to get them upset right now). The punishment should take into consideration the potential worst case consequence of the act, not just the act itself. If you steal a manhole cover, then the appropriate punishment should factor in the possibility of causing an accident like that of Brigadier-General Audu, causing permanent disability or even death. If you steal part of a train track, then you are a terrorist or potential mass murderer and should be charged for terrorism or attempted mass murder. There should be no middle ground. Enough information should be disseminated to ensure that the foot soldiers in this army of criminality are in no doubt as to what awaits them if and when they are caught.

More importantly, and more effectively is the need to go after the buyers. If there are no buyers, then there will be no sellers. Nothing stops the National Assembly from passing a bill as a matter of urgent national importance mandating the death sentence for anyone caught receiving vandalized public infrastructure. If it is a corporate entity (like the one I heard was identified in Kaduna), then it should be closed down and the Directors charged to court. Examples need to be made and quickly too. We cannot continue like this as a country, being raped and attacked by the leadership and the led. I know as long as we continue to have convicts and people with EFCC files thicker than the Bible in our Legislative Houses and Executive mansions, just recompense for those at the top might be a while coming. They can however help us safeguard our infrastructure (and our lives) from those at the bottom by doing the right thing.

AND THE WHITE LION CAME HOME

Any non-Nigerian who saw the triumphant return of Yahaya Bello to his country home in Kogi, accompanied by the puppet Governor would be forgiven for assuming that it was the homecoming of a victorious battle-tested General. A brave defender of the weak and husband of the widow who had just returned from worsting a common enemy of the people in battle. They would find it had to believe that this reception was in honour of a coward that had been in hiding from the law for almost a full year and had just been arraigned for stealing N95 billion belonging to these same poor simpletons. Money, part of which he had changed to American dollars and used to pay for the education of his children in an American school for the entire duration of their school days. They however do not care. So what if he is a thief? He is our thief. As it was when the Ibori of Oghara returned from his sojourn as a guest in His Majesty’s fine lodgings in Belmarsh prisons (where he had been accompanied by his wife, his concubine, and his lawyer), the drums beat, cymbals clashed, and horns blared! Their hero had returned. So what if he was a thief? He was their thief and should be left alone. This country has a long road to travel.