Why young men are now running away from marriage, by Aderemi Ogunpitan

We have great conversations in our office. Its an open plan arrangement, with a high percentage of my staff GenZ. We talk about a lot of stuff. Marriage is one of them. Well, feedback is that it ain’t so sacred anymore. Or, is it that they’re scared. Well, that’s the vibe they give me.

The notion of marraige as the crown of adulthood seems to be changing.

Today, people dodge it. They aren’t rushing to marry anymore because the reality no longer matches the fantasy. And, they see it everyday.

Men now see marriage as a high-risk investment: expensive weddings, endless expectations, cultural pressure to “provide,” and the fear of losing peace, money or even many of the things they’ve worked for if things collapse.

In an economy where survival is already a full-time job, marriage feels like another burden waiting to explode if they get it wrong.

Women aren’t smiling either. They watched their mothers become unpaid house managers, and emotional shock absorbers. Well, that’s the image being portrayed by the “woke” that I perceive.

Modern women today want partnership, not servitude. They refuse to enter marriages where their careers die, their dreams shrink, and their labour goes unnoticed. They fear being trapped just as much as men fear being drained.

Both genders see the contradictions: men want respect without emotional presence; women want partnership while expecting financial miracles. Trust has become scarce.

I get the feeling that no one wants to be a fool in a story they didn’t write.

Social media finished the sacredness. Instagram turned marriage into performance, TikTok turned it into content, and DMs turned loyalty into a gamble. Abd dating apps made relationships instant, not built on substance.

Weddings now trend more than the marriage. Couples smile online and fight offline. Side relationships operate like ministries.

Cultural structures that once held marriages together have collapsed. Elders are tired. Families mind their business. The glue is gone.

Add the pressure of our economy, rent, fuel, school fees, inflation, and the question becomes: who really wants extra stress?

Though we still like to believe in love, many now just want companionship, children, and stability.

But marriage? Though it’s still admired from afar, its admired cautiously, suspiciously, and with hand on chin, and faces focussed on mobile phones.

Many just dey look! Is marraige still worth it? A question that needs to asked.